Standing Still.

I sit as if I am in slow motion.

As if I have no motivation in the world.

As if the whole universe is busily moving around me and it doesn't affect me.

I'm thinking so much that it honestly feels like my mind is blank.

I'm holding so much in that I don't feel anything at all.

I'm blurring my vision.

I'm slowly not hearing things.

I'm gradually doing less and less.

But I have done a lot today.. Yes?

Who knows.

I've lost track. 

My days blur together.

I feel like everything happens at the same time.

I feel like I never sleep.

That I'd rather get on the computer than face reality.

I find myself thinking I've already done something.. but then realizing that I haven't, and that its  not supposed to be done for another few days.

I feel lost and distant.

Confused. 

Still.

Mislead.

Unhappy.

Purposeless.

I get like this sometimes. I let the negative get the best of me.

I really don't feel like this.

I constantly feel gratitude for my family and friends.

I am grateful that I have the opportunity to go to school, to dance, and play piano.

I am positive.

I am upright and always moving.

Striving to do something better today than I did yesterday.

Hoping to put others in front of myself.

Wishing to have time to serve those in need.

Wanting to succeed in at least one thing that I do.

Thinking about the future.. I don't even care anymore.

Whatever happens is supposed to happen.

Let it be.

Come what may cause surely it will come anyways.

Have hope and know who you are.

Cause life is hard.

Life isn't easy. 

But will giving up make it any easier? 

NO. probably not.

It will probably just push me back into a place that I don't want to be.

Get me away from this feeling of hopelessness.

I will not drag myself down or hold myself back any longer.

I will not critique myself because I don't have the right.

Lets face it.. No one really knows exactly who they are.

and you shouldn't judge unless you truly know someone.

We don't have the right to tear ourselves down.

We didn't make us.

He did.

Just like a mother hurts when her baby gets teased at school.

He feels what we feel.

He knows who we are.

He knows when we cry.

When we hurt.

When we are down on our knees and just can't take it anymore.

He knows us.

He knows our strengths and weaknesses more than we do.

He knows that we will be built up as we go throughout life.

He knows that we have endless potential.

He knows what we will be.

He has faith that we can make it.

New goal... Have faith in myself. Have faith that I can make it.

Not just that I can make it, but that he can and will help me make it.