Done....

I'm starting over.
I'm starting new.
I am doing something I have always wanted to do.
Since I am writing this down,
slash announcing it. (to myself)
I guess... I must follow through.
I don't know what else to do.
My head keeps spinning back to this one thought.
This one question.
This one move that could potentially do something for me.
I mean, it has to. or else why would these keep coming back?
Why would it keep coming back over and over again.
and why why why. Would I feel so strongly about this.
There has to be a reason.
That is the only answer I have to all my whys.
There has to be some reason.
One reason.
Many.
Few.
At least one..
This is it. This is my final and once and for all decision.
I am doing it.
Done.
............
Done..
Its a leap into the dark.
Its something I want to do.
and something I don't want to do.
I'm scared. I'm nervous.
I am sick of feeling like this.
Just.... go away.
But I know the only way this decision will go away is if I do this.
Why?
Fine. Bye. It's done.
I'm done argueing with myself and weighing out the options.

Love, Madi Louise
-Seriously and utterly confused.