Example of the Believers.

Do you realize that people are watching you?

Do you realize that someone is either thinking...

"Wow, I want to be just like them." 

or "Oh, I totally learned from there mistakes."

There not judging you. But just watching.

Seeing what you do and how you act.

Seeing if you'll represent and stand up for what you believe in.

People are always trying to figure out who they really are.

They also do this to others.

I love to watch people.

I love to watch people serve.

I love seeing people happy and smiling.

I love it when I'm driving and seeing a young mother playing with her baby boy in the autumn leaves.

I love to see someone help someone in need.

I love it when people go out of there way for others.

This world is such a wonderful place. 

We have so many responsibilities and opportunities.

We have so much that we can do and accomplish.

Thats why we are here.

We are here to give.

To grow.

To learn.

To be happy.

I've been thinking about this quote constantly lately.

Responsibility of Latter-Day Saints

"We have laid upon us as a people a greater charge, a greater responsibility than any other people have ever had in the history of the world. We are responsible for the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ to all who have lived upon the earth, to all who now live upon the earth, and to all who will yet live upon the earth. No other people have had so great a responsibility as that. God bless the faithful Latter-day Saints who carry in their hearts the love and respect of the great doctrine of the eternity of the family, and the tremendous doctrine of vicarious work for the dead." -Gordon B. Hinckley

Simple stated. We have a responsibility to show who we stand for.

To let others know that we know Christ.

That we know who we are and that we are proud of who we are.

We have so much to give.

So much work to do.

We are children of a Heavenly Father.

SHOW IT.

love it.

and most importantly, LIVE it.

"Let others know him, because they know you."

Have that light in your eyes.

That burning testimony in your hearts.

That sweet feeling of the spirit surrounding you at all times.

To those of you that do.

Thank you.

You bring happiness to my life constantly.

I hope you realize that no matter who you are.

No matter what you do.

No matter what your circumstances are.

No matter how many mistakes you have made.

You are always loved.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Your supposed to.

Opposition in all things right?

Keep on going. 

Life is hard, but thats the only way to find happiness.

Love, Madeliene Louise

striving to live my life like this..

Contemplating.

I sit here contemplating with myself about doing things that I am supposed to do.
I sit and weigh out the good and the bad options.
I sit here and think of what I should do.
But I don't do it.
I don't know why... But I have lost all motivation.
I feel like my mind doesn't stop thinking.
I feel empty and lost.
I feel broken and sad.
But... I'm happy.
I feel confused.
I feel like I fail at everything I try to do.
But thats not the problem.
I'm not even trying anymore.
Why don't I care?
Why can't my thoughts just slow down for one second?
Why am I constantly replaying everything in my head and thinking of what is going to come next?
Why can't I get a break?
Why can't I be the kind of person I want to be.
Why am I complaining?
I have no room to complain.
I hurt.
I don't show it. or I try not to.
But I guess I really do.

Others. I'll Change. I'm Sorry.

I really don't think people understand how much others play a part in their life.

For the good, or the bad.

Everyone is always advised don't listen to what other people say, or who cares what they think. Yes, who cares what anyone thinks. 

We should all be ourselves and do things just because we want to.

But everyone has a part of them that wants compliments and recognition.

As humans, we want to please others. 

We want our parents to be proud of us.

We want our friends to like us.

We want to be liked.

Honestly, who wants to be disliked? 

Who wants to be gossiped about?

No one in particular..

Those suttle comments or things we hear from others can hurt us. 

They can tear us down. 

Sometimes people say things because they think it will be for our own good.

I agree, to a point.

I believe in constructive criticism.

I think people sometimes do need to hear things that they don't want to. 

I think others have good insight on ourselves personally and our lives that we might not be able to see at the moment.

I think we need to know those things.

But constructive criticism is not tearing others down.

Constructive criticism is not intentionally hurting peoples feelings or self esteem. 

The difference between being so called "mean" and good criticism is if you actually care about them, then what you say to them will come out to their benefit. 

Not to bring them down. 

Not to over compensate how you feel about your body, talents, feelings, life.

People have such an impact on others.

They have such a way of making someone happy or making thembreak down in tears.

We have an influence on others.

On their emotions, their feelings, their self esteem and confidence.

So, why hurt them?

I also think we as people don't want to hurt people.

But then again, we do.

We all do one way or another. 

Intentionally, unintentionally.

On accident, on purpose.

We hurt the people we care about.

We hurt people we love.

We hurt people we don't know 

or don't necessarily care for. 

Why do we do this? 

Because we are human.

We are kids. 

We are teenagers.

We are adults.

and we all make mistakes. 

Wether we mean to or not. 

We all do.

The important thing is how you deal with your mistakes.

Saying sorry and truly meaning it can change everything around.

Just that one simple word, can mean something huge to someone else.

sorry is truly feeling bad and telling that person you hurt what happened, and how bad you feel. Asking them to forgive you and promising them that if will never happen again.

Change is what makes the difference in a sorry.

Change is what shows if you really learned and if you can really be trusted, forgiven, and given a second chance again.

or maybe multiple times.

Forgiving yourself is key too.

People are easy to forgive and easy to forget.

We all want the same right? 

To be forgiven and to have a second chance. 

Live.Laugh.Love.
for one day you'll make it.


Love, Madeliene

Relatable.

You know when your so busy that you forget to eat?
You know when your so busy that all you want to do is eat?
You know that time when your so stressed out you can't do anything.
Your shaking because you have so much to do, but you don't know where to start.
You cry or don't cry but probably want to cry.
You waste your life away online because its better than facing reality.
You get your work done, but your making excuses.
The to do lists, the sticky notes, they keep piling up.
You catch yourself asking what day it is cause your thinking about all the stuff you have to do tomorrow, rather than what you have to do now. It feels like today is already over cause you've already thought about it so much yesterday.
It feels like this could go on forever.
It feels like you could never sleep. or never wake up.
You make one decision and regret it.

On the other hand..
You love life.
You love the time you get to spend with family, with friends, and to be at church.
You love the opportunity to bare your testimony, to go to the temple, to write a talk, or help someone.
You love dances, dancing, and the playing the piano.
You wish you could play all day long.
You wish you could loose yourself in the melody that somehow your hands can create.
You wish you could loose yourself in the feeling that dance creates for you. That you could express what you mean, with your body, all the time.
You wish people could look at you and understand you.
But most of all, you wish you could take one look at someone else and understand them.

I aspire to be the kind of person that others are for me.
I wish to inspire, like I am inspired daily.
I wish to serve a mission.
I wish to have a beautiful family one day. I wish to prepare for all of this now.
I wish to make decisions and to live with them happily.
I wish to look back with no regrets. For everything we do and choose has a purpose correct?

As I sit here overwhelmed with everything around me.
I realize that it is time to ground myself.
To push myself.
To focus myself.
To let myself feel what I feel.
If I want to do it, I'll do it.
If I don't, I won't.
If I want to try, I will.
If I want good grades, I'll get them.
If I want to make up for the lost years of piano and dancing, for lack of my own effort, I will.
I will not let what I didn't do, stop me from doing.
I will not criticize myself, or tear myself down.
I will live my life how I want to.
and I will succeed.
because I want to.

I sound like this girl who thinks she lives a hard life.
I don't. I have challenges like everyone else does.
But I am blessed because of them. Just like everyone else is.
I sound like some one who complains.
Maybe I do complain, but this is how I feel.
I feel happy. I feel sad. I feel different emotions.
I basically am the average teenage girl who can't understand herself.
but yet again, I do understand myself.

I'm off and on.
I'm either all there or completely away.
I'm either all for it or completely against it.
I'm a yes or a no, not a sure.

I'm just me and thats all I'll ever be.

Trials. Life. Purpose.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about life in general.
I've also been thinking about the meaning of the word purpose and what it means to have purpose.
And I've also been thinking about trials.
I have just been thinking..
Between traveling for hours and hours all around Europe.. and being in St. George..
I have had a lot of thinking time.

I realized how many things go on around us that we don't know about. that I don't know about.
I may not know that my best friend is suffering from family problems.
I may not know that my neighbors have trauma in their house.
I may not know that the boy at my school has a dad who has severe medical conditions.
I may not know that the girl I dance with hurts. Deeply hurts.
I may not know what that boy is thinking or going through.
I may not know that my sister cries herself to sleep.
I may not know that my grandpa has challenges.
I may not know that she has a eating disorder.

I may not know a lot of things. I only know what people tell me. We only know what people tell us.
and people don't usually share those kind of problems with everyone. So thats why no one really knows about them.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that.. life is hard. Life is challenging for everyone. Every single person on this earth has a trial. challenge. moment of weakness.
I don't know what they are going through or what they face on a daily basis. I don't know exactly how they feel. I don't know what hurts them. I don't know what brings them true happiness.
and I don't have any room to judge. or to think anything badly about them.

There are so many different kinds of people on this earth and its crazy to think that every single one is different and unique in their own way.


It amazes me that our Heavenly Father loves each and everyone one of us.
Everyday I am reminded of that.  
Everyday I am reminded to take life as it is. 
To enjoy it and cherish the time I have here.
To live up to my potential and to follow the examples that have been put in front of me.
Christ as the ultimate example.

I can't explain what I feel.
I don't know how to put my feelings into words.
I love this life.
I love this gospel. and I am just so happy to be in it.
So happy to have a purpose. To know that someone loves me. To know I always have someone to talk to. To know that I am being watched over. To know that when I'm happy, I'm not alone. To know that when I'm sad, I'm not alone. To know that life is going to be okay.

Life is full of hope.
Everything will turn out how its supposed to one day.
Life is good.
Life. is. Good.. :)

Love, Madi Louise :)

-in a complete loss for words. 

Erased..

You have been somewhat, entirely erased from my past. In a sense that, I don't think about you anymore. Your name doesn't ring a bell. Things we used to do, don't remind me of you anymore.

But, I do remember you. I acknowledge that you were there and remember you to the extent that you were part of my life. That for that time being, you were needed. You served your purpose. You taught me well and I learned a lot about myself through my relationship and friendship with you.

Of course, I still remember you. So, maybe your not entirely erased, because you can't completely erase a moment in time. But you are erased in a way. A way I never ever would of thought was possible a year ago. 

I guess through it all, I realized today, that I have personally come so far. I realized who I am. I realized what I stand for and that I will never back down. I will never change who I am for someone else.

I will never lower my standards.

I will never lose myself.

I will never forget about what is really important.

What really matters. 

I have always known these things. But now, I KNOW. I know. I know. I know. and I will never forget.

Moments like these are such "ah-ha" moments because it is when life makes sense!

I would not of learned anything along these lines with out going through it myself.

And with that, I know I still have so much to learn. And I know, I will have the experiences I need that will teach me the things I need to know. And these experiences will keep coming in everything i do. We will all just keep learning and growing and everyday we'll get stronger, be wiser, and have more hope.

Life is hopeful. Life has a purpose. If there wasn't a purpose, why would we all be here?

I think, reflecting on that moment, for a little while, was good for me. It taught me something. Like everything in life eventually does.

Live. Laugh. Love.

for one day.... 

you'll make it.

Love, Madi Louise :)

.....yup, thats me. 

Done....

I'm starting over.
I'm starting new.
I am doing something I have always wanted to do.
Since I am writing this down,
slash announcing it. (to myself)
I guess... I must follow through.
I don't know what else to do.
My head keeps spinning back to this one thought.
This one question.
This one move that could potentially do something for me.
I mean, it has to. or else why would these keep coming back?
Why would it keep coming back over and over again.
and why why why. Would I feel so strongly about this.
There has to be a reason.
That is the only answer I have to all my whys.
There has to be some reason.
One reason.
Many.
Few.
At least one..
This is it. This is my final and once and for all decision.
I am doing it.
Done.
............
Done..
Its a leap into the dark.
Its something I want to do.
and something I don't want to do.
I'm scared. I'm nervous.
I am sick of feeling like this.
Just.... go away.
But I know the only way this decision will go away is if I do this.
Why?
Fine. Bye. It's done.
I'm done argueing with myself and weighing out the options.

Love, Madi Louise
-Seriously and utterly confused.

I love you. I love you not.

Its interesting that the one thing/phrase that you can never say to much of, but can never say enough of.

Is “I love you”.

The words I love you can mean so many different things. 

But then again it means one thing. 

I guess there are just different meanings to that one simple, pure, amazing phrase. 

Love... love is complex. Love is from the heart. 

It is genuine and sincere. It shows that you care. It shows that loving side of you. 

It can be easy and natural to say. Sometimes it just comes out. It feels so right.

But on the other hand. You can feel it, feel is so strongly and have the hardest time saying it. And showing how you really feel. 

It 's not because you don’t really feel that way.

I guess some people just have a harder time expressing themselves.

For fear of not being loved back.

Love. It has to be given and received. 

To be loved.. you must love.

love others, love yourself. 

You should never be afraid of loving. Never be afraid of being loved back. 

You’ll never know unless you try and sometimes trying is unnecessary. 

It just starts to happen, comes to be as you get to know someone. It’s not hard to love anyone.

Everyone has those special talents, abilities, qualities that you can’t help but love. 

There is always something to love in everybody. 

That's probably why it is important to look for the good in everyone. right?

Then you think.. trying to love someone when your afraid to love... is not easy. 

But why would you be afraid of such a great thing? Maybe because it can go wrong..

Because it is such a great and powerful thing, you really have to work at it and know the pain, the bad, a taste of what went wrong. 

To know how the right feels, the truth. The true feeling of so called love. 

You never want to go back to that feeling of being lost, of being heart broken, of loosing and hurting that person you had such deep feelings for. 

So why would you ever want to go back and try again? 

If you have that chance of going wrong, of messing up again. 

Of having those feelings rush back to you. 

Cause the next time it could hit harder and bring back the emotions of the past. 

But I guess we should always remember that you must move on and you must try again. 

Why? because if you didn't take that chance, that risk. You could miss out on the opportunity of being with the love of your life for forever. 

It is better to try, then to not try at all. It is better to try, then to miss out on that opportunity cause once you finally get it...

I promise you. It will take over all the bad experiences you have ever had. 

It will be like it never happened. 

It won’t hurt as bad cause you’ll have that one person that really loves you to wash away all the past. 

You’ll forget that you ever knew and saw the bad side of love. 

because the right side, will be better than you had ever imagined and the best thing is.. 

You’ll know when it feels so right, because of the past that you have had. 

and to feel that with the right person, I'm sure it feels like your whole world just came together, that all your prayers have been answered. 

All that you have been striving for, trying to overcome, has finally come. That ship has sailed.. finally. 

Love is desired over all things. Without love you are nothing, you have nothing. No one to fall back on, no one to talk to. Love connects with so many different things: compassion, kindness, caring, helping.. They all mesh together. Love is inside each and everyone of those words. Love is inside you, so why don't you let it out? Share it with the world. You never know who’s broken heart you will fix. Whose hearts you will touch. Whose lives you will influence. If you don't go out there and share those great feelings deep inside of you. You’ll never know what you’ll be missing.. who you could be caring for, giving kindness too. Who you could be helping and learning for yourself what compassion is. What love is... :) <3

Love, Madeliene. 

-I write this... claiming that I honestly no nothing about love. 
This is just what I hope love will one day be for me. 
We'll see.

Looking back.

& one day. 

When we are all grown up.

We'll look back & think to ourselves.

Think about our childhood & our teenage years. 

Our choices & decisions.

Our friends & family.

Our friendships & loved ones.

Our life.

& hopefully we'll look back & see no regrets.

We'll see happiness & the great things we had.

What a beautiful life... 

That's how I want to live my life.

So I can be one of those people who looks back

& remembers all the good,

all the things that were accomplished.

 How great that would be,

 to just look into the past.. remember.

and smile. :)

Love, Madi Louise.

Some Motivation Please.

To: Me.

    There are so many different things and opportunities that life has to offer. So many choices and decisions to make. So many paths and roads to choose from. Maybe some that aren't the best, and definitely some that bring true happiness. The best thing about life though, would have to be that even if you make a wrong choice, or make a wrong move. If you travel down the wrong road for a minute, you can always turn back. You can always turn yourself around and make better decisions the next day. It may take you only one wrong turn, it may take you multiple. You may mess up again and again. But you can always turn your life around. "You can always be a better person tomorrow, than you were today." That is honestly one of the best quotes. Right there it simply says that you can make it even if you do something wrong. You can get back up and tray again if you fall. If you hit a rough spot, there is a way to be happy again. To have our trials lifted and those pains, sufferings, and sins taken away. There is always someone there for you. 

        That one person is your Heavenly Father. He loves us. He knows us. No doubt about it. He created you and he wants you happy. He wants you to be a good example to those around you. He wants you to be a leader. To get back home. He wants you to inspire and to bring your friends and family with you. He made all of his children for a purpose. He made us for eachother. We are here for others. He put us in the families we are in for a reason. We are there to help them, and them help us. They will help us. They already have. Every day they do and every single day they will always be there for us in one way or another. Life is hard, its a challenge. It's supposed to be. If it was easy.. What would be the purpose? We are so lucky cause we know what the purpose is. We know what we have to look forward to and we know where are are going. We have a purpose, a calling, a role. My biggest fear is to get back and to know that I didn't do all that I could of done. That I didn't finish my duties, my callings, that i didn't fulfill my purpose. Hopefully, I can. Hopefully I can do what I'm supposed to do to please those around me.

I am so grateful for the gospel and the wonderful family and friends I have today. I am so grateful for my blessings. I am so blessed. I need to remember that. I need to thank him and show it. Through my actions... by getting down on my knees. By using all that I have been given. By fulfilling my purpose. By never giving up and always turning to him. 

Love, Madi Louise.

-Just reminding you to keep going. 


"Trust in the Lord. 
Lean on him even if we don't understand. 
Follow him and we'll be saved. 
Give your will to God because he loves us, 
he wants us to succeed and he wants us happy."

"You."

I write to myself a lot. This would be something I found.

 Written Sophmore year. 

In high school and throughout your whole life, 

Everybody just wants to fit in and everybody doesn't want to be known as fake.

 To balance these things out is pretty hard to do. 

You want to fit in and be yourself. 

To do this, you first need to find who you really truly are and be you all the time. 

There is no need to change for anybody. 

If your happy with yourself, than guaranteed people will be happy with you too.

 If people don’t like you for who you really are than its obliviously there problem. 

To be accepted in this world you need to accept yourself and others.

 You be the one you want to be, and everything will fall into place. 

The friends that wont love and accept you for who you really are, are not your true friends. Don't try to change yourself to fit in. 

Maybe you will find out that your friends actually like you better when you are you. 

and if they don't then that is there loss. 

You want to feel accomplished.

 The best feeling of accomplishment is when you can reach the point that you are proud of yourself. 

Your not cocky or ignorant, your just happy being you.

 You look at your flaws and what you might think are imperfections as the things that make you perfect. 

That make you.. you. 

Everyone has those things about themselves physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually that they don't necessarily like and wish would change. 

If you got rid of those unique things you wouldn’t be yourself. 

and guaranteed when those problems left, you would find more things you don’t like. 

So your thinking then how do I look at those things in a positive way? 

what do i do? 

You really have to figure out that question for yourself. 

You find your own answer for you cause your the only one who truly knows you. 

You know what you need and want in this life. 

Some things to help though would be to look at yourself through someone else's eyes. 

See yourself how others do.

 Take a step back out of you world and look at the big picture. 

What really matters?

 overall what am I looking for?

 What am i here for?

 What is my goal? 

my purpose? 

my potential? 

who am i? 

and how do i reach what i can be? 

anything is possible. 

Believe in yourself and you can go far.

 Find that great person deep inside you and put your true self out there for everyone to see. Show yourself. 

Love yourself and your friends won’t be able to help but love you back.

 Keep your goals in focus. Let your light shine through. The focus is all on you. 

Thoughts in a wrap up.

• I hate my boss.
• I love my cousin Derek who does everything for me :)
• I can't wait to go to Logan.
• I love Ron who makes me breakfast in the morning.
• I miss my Papa.
• I need a new job.
• I secretly wish I was in Cali, but not really. Maybe if it was warmer there, but I wouldn't even get a tan if I was to go, so it's okay.
• I am so excited to go to France and Spain.
• I want to see Amanda Faith.
• I love to see the temple.
• My muscles are sore... i feel somewhat accomplished.
• I have homework. It can wait!
• I can't wait for college!!
• I'm done with high school. At least junior year.
• I hate the whole concept of money. It is really just paper with a value! and who said it had value is what I want to know!
• I kinda want to go shopping. but not really.
• I have counteracting thoughts.
• I dream about what I am supposed to do the next day. It is stressful.
• I love my family!
• Spring break is awesome! and life is great! 

That is all.

 Love, Madi