Contemplating.

I sit here contemplating with myself about doing things that I am supposed to do.
I sit and weigh out the good and the bad options.
I sit here and think of what I should do.
But I don't do it.
I don't know why... But I have lost all motivation.
I feel like my mind doesn't stop thinking.
I feel empty and lost.
I feel broken and sad.
But... I'm happy.
I feel confused.
I feel like I fail at everything I try to do.
But thats not the problem.
I'm not even trying anymore.
Why don't I care?
Why can't my thoughts just slow down for one second?
Why am I constantly replaying everything in my head and thinking of what is going to come next?
Why can't I get a break?
Why can't I be the kind of person I want to be.
Why am I complaining?
I have no room to complain.
I hurt.
I don't show it. or I try not to.
But I guess I really do.