Fear. Realization.. that you can do anything?

So life is going. .

I'm on my way and headed into my senior year of highschool.

Still not sure I should even call myself a senior.. I just feel so little! 

But anyways, the good thing about school starting.. 

is that when school starts, dance starts.

I've missed dance. my company. my director. the peace it brings me.

In dance we were talking about goals, future, and not being afraid.

As I was listening to the other girls... it hit me, that sometimes I don't do things because I am afraid.

because for some reason I am scared.

because there is something holding me back.

Whatever that reason is. It's good enough to stop me from accomplishing something significant.

I quit piano because i was scared. 

Scared of performing, scared of playing in church. 

I was scared that someone would think I wasn't good enough. 

I was scared to mess up.

Today, I am scared to dance in front of some people.

Especially.. sometimes in front of the girls I dance with.

Scared that I won't be good enough for them. 

That if I make a wrong move, or if i'm not on count that I will look dumb.

I have been trying to get over this fear for years.

I have been trying to build confidence in dance for years.

This year, my senior year, I realized what was holding me back from feeling completely confident.

I realized why it was so difficult for me to go out and show what I love to do in front of people who do what I do.

 

Fear..

Fear is necessary to the point that if we didn't have fear. 

If we weren't scared or nervous at one point or another.

Then everything would be easy.

and if things were easy, we wouldn't feel so good once we accomplish something.

Once we conquer that fear.

Once we get up in front of a lot of people and give a talk in church.

Once we stand up and dance in front of someone who is amazing at dancing.

Once we tell someone No because you don't want to be treated in such a way.

Once you be completely true to who you are even when it may not be the cool thing to do.

Once we do anything of significance.. we feel good. 

Accomplished.

Like you could do anything.

Like you could accomplish something else that is scary to you.

Something that frightens you.

Don't let fear scare you to the point that you quit what you love.

Don't let fear scare you to the point that your not living your life how you want to.

That your not living life to the fullest.

All in all..

I learned that I shouldn't be scared of doing something that I want to do.

I learned that life is hard and scary and things are intimidating.

But I have gotten through things that scare me before.

So why can't I do it again?

Why can't I go out and dance because I want to?

Dance because I know that if I mess up, its okay?

Because if I do mess up.. I can get back up and try again.

I can always work on anything about myself and try and make it better.

I can always become a better person because I want to.

because I have the drive to.

and I believe that we all have the drive to.

I believe that as people, we are a good people.

I believe that life is supposed to bring happiness.

I believe that challenging things just help you grow as a person.

I believe that anything is possible.

and I believe that truly, if you want it, you can have it.

Love, Madeliene.

-working on confidence. and hoping to triumph over some of my fears.